I woke up this morning on the couch at 5 a.m. Instantly, the ticketing of the clock over my head bothered me. I’m easily rattled by the repetition and the seemingly lound noise in the quiet of the morning.
No, I did not have a fight with my wife and ended up on the sterotypical couch. I just crashed – after a long week. I fell asleep sometime between 10 and 11 and again around midnight or so.
In the evening, I was determined to watch some TV with the family, putting out of my mind anything else – work, friends, Bible study, even prayer.
I just wanted comfort and rest.
I guess there is nothing wrong with rest; Jesus took breaks as well – got away from everyone. But of course, those Bible references also typically note that he retreated to pray (Luke 5:15-16).
And I didn’t. The funny thing is that my sweatshirt of the day said; “Prayer – The World’s Greatest Wireless Connection.”
This morning, I’ve already said some prayers and rounded up some devotional books. I also shopped online for a couple copies of “The Calvary Road” by Roy Hession. I know some people who would benefit from the message on brokeness.
I keep thinking of the book because it clearly explains that that God calls us to revival, to humility, to surrender.
God wants more of me and less of me.
In other words, the Lord wants me wholly devoted to Him, His ways and His will. And he wants me to die to self, to walk in obedience to His ways, not my plans or preferences.
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.’ ” (Matthew 16:24)
How’s that going for me? I’m nowhere near being consistent about taking up my cross. In fact, Luke 9:23 refers to it as a daily activity for those who want to act as disciples of Jesus.
I’m much closer – and sometimes do take up my cross – when I serve others and not just my self interests.
As I face this morning and turn back to prayer and His Word, I’m trying to stay centered on a few things – acknowledging my sins, yielding to the Holy Spirit and surrendering my will.
So much good can come from that – faith tells me it’s good to experience all of them.
Here are a few apt words from “The Calvary Road.”
If, however, we are to come into this right relationship with Him, the first thing we must learn is that our wills must be broken to His will. To be broken is the beginning of Revival. It is painful, humiliating, but it is the only way. It is being “Not I, but Christ” (Gal 2:20), and a “C” is a bent “I.”
The Lord Jesus cannot live in us fully and reveal Himself through until the proud self within us is broken. This simply means that the hard unyielding self, which justifies itself, wants its own way, stands up for its rights, and seeks its own glory, at last bows its head to God’s will, admits its wrong, gives up its own way to Jesus, surrenders its rights and discards its own glory – that the Lord Jesus might have all and be all. In other words it is dying to self and self-attitudes.